Does this beard make me look fat

Monday, March 21, 2011

If only for the sake of topicality

My friend Adam said I needed to be more topical. Ruminate about current situations and interests. That's not really what I do, but I got to thinking about Charlie Sheen and the wild interest in the man who seemed destined to live off the royalties of Hot Shots and Major League till the gods of horrendous tv programming smiled upon him and ushered him into the cosmos of hit television and further ascension into syndication. I'd like to tell you I have an explanation for why a show featuring Duckie from Pretty in Pink and Charlie struck such a cord with people. I just don't. Just like I'm puzzled at the continued interest in seeing a guy self-promote his self-implosion.

For me, the idea of rooting for Team Train Wreck lost a great deal of appeal a long time ago. I suppose you get older and the simplistic existence outshines the crash and burn, shimmer and fade collision course folks like Chuck find themselves on. When you're a young buck you think the great drinkers, risk takers, train dodgers are capturing the true essence of life. Grabbing their life bull by the horns and riding it till it bucks them. And maybe they all had a plan or the instinct to know that their own demons served them and served them well and they wouldn't have it any other way.

But I've come to realize that the true greats are the ones that are built to last. The hard to kill. Those that hunger to live. Guys like Chuck Berry, Keith, Jerry Lee Lewis, all the crotchety seniors of the world, my weight lifting 71 year old Uncle Vince, those are the people that merit a second thought. There's a fire in their bellies that keeps em going. All the rest, the Charlie's, the burn outs, it's all an empty story built on bottle rocket momentum, rapid acceleration leading into rapid combustion.

The real genius in all this is Jon Cryer (Duckie). He knows what he has, he knows a good thing when he sees it. And as great as 7 gram crack rocks and a (I'm not sure what the proper term for a whole bunch of prostitutes is, murder, gaggle, flock? Lets just settle on grip, keep it old school) a grip of prostitutes must be, gainful employment and not turning into a punch line seems so much more enticing. Not to discount the crack or the prostitutes, great men have sworn by both, and I'm sure they're both an equally great time. But i gotta say Duckie's playing it smart.

As for the whole "winning" business and what not. Something equally or more insane will come down the internet pike and you'll forget about Chuck and his "winning" attitude and his abysmal show. And then? Who knows. Who cares. I'm just glad Duckie has a job.

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