Does this beard make me look fat

Friday, May 21, 2010

I got dumped while Axl wailed

The first time I was dumped was when I was 13 and it was at the State Fair. Not my first choice of setting, but you don't really have a choice is matters like these. She did it while a Guns N Roses song was playing. Immediately following a ride on the tilt-a-whirl with her, so I was nauseous and had Axl and company singing about Mr. Brownstone in the background. She said "Luke, I'm dumping you.? I said I don't get it. I really didn't. I was a first timer. She reiterated, and so did I. So she all but took out a chalk board and a chart to illustrate how these things work. I said hmmmm. At that point, I prayed and asked my two patron saints, John Hughes and Cameron Crowe what I should do? They both agreed unanimously that I should spend the next few days sitting across the street from her house for varying periods of time. Which I did. Up until her Dad sent her out to tell me that if I didn't stop coming by that he was going to get the fuzz involved. I thought that was a bit uncalled for. In the movies, you get the girl by bringing a boom box, presumably a pocket full of double d batteries for that huge boom box, and a copy of Peter Gabriel's So. You skip Sledgehammer and Big Time because there's no room for songs like those in a situation like this, and go right to In Your Eyes or Red Rain. If time permits, throw in Don't Give Up with Kate Bush. Me? I left the boom box at home and got threatened with possible incarceration.


hellofacey said...

Seems you have had some run-ins with the Metro Popo. I suppose they are off your Christmas, and blog invitation list.

luke said...

i had run ins, but never went to jail. Mind you, girlfriends dad merely threatened. I let my crazy go so far, then my rational thinking deploys my I'm not going to go to jail for this parachute of withdrawal