Does this beard make me look fat

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

This wang stormed the beach at Normandy

Men love being naked at inappropriate times. Streaking is a fine depiction of this. I go to the gym and see so much old man balls and butt cheeks that look like a flesh toned cousin to a drape of pizza dough hanging from a geriatrics back that I know a sense of nude entitlement instills itself in men when they hit a certain age. The gym locker room feeds into this. Shave your goods in front of the unsuspecting ? Why not? Balance your checkbook with legs wide open. Sure. I only go into the locker room under situations where my bladder is under sever duress and it's absolutely necessary as I know what awaits me when I go in there. Men have nothing on a nude woman. Men look like God was about to hit his lunch hour and just had to throw something together to meet his Creator Quota. I suppose when you hit 70 you're not concerned as to whether or not the sight of your sagging yam bags is burning my retinas. But really, all I want is to wash my hands and not see a World War 2 veterans kibbles and bits. Is that so wrong?

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